Friday, July 30, 2010

First Post

Well maybe I should I do an introduction before I start posting my thoughts about whatever I feel like talking about. Wow! Four I's in that sentence.

I was born male (Michael) on August 11. All of my life I've felt as though there was something wrong or not quite right about me. I have always wanted to play with the girls and never been all that physical. By the time I was 11, I started to 'crossdress' mainly with my sisters clothing in which she always got in trouble for 'leaving' my room. That memory is still a running joke among my sister and I. Getting caught by my father when I was 14 scared the living daylights out of me. He told me not to dress up again and about three months later he asked me if I wanted to be a girl after getting caught several more times. I got so scared by what his reaction might be so I said no. Should of said yes but I still had a lot of growing up to do before that thought of me being a girl would enter my mind again.

By the time I had enter high school I decided that the 'crossdressing' I do when I'm alone should stay a secret for myself. To be honest, I felt ashamed that to be on the verge of congruency, I had to dress in female clothing. I had to hide them in a good place that only I would go to look for something. During that time, I made up a persona of the super Star Trek Geek, a Super Trekkie, to be able to hide my true self from the others. I had suffered the harassment from others long enough. It would take me six more years to re find myself.

Two years after my high school graduation I just couldn't hide from myself anymore. After being wake for three days trying to forget about 'Amrisa's clothing,' I decided to go into therapy to find why I feel this way. That was in 2008. During this time I found out I was transgender and have Gender Dysphoria.

As I was exploring my new self, I found a really great transgender support group and the people there are friendly. They have never pushed me to be anyone or anything. All that they did was to give me place that I could be me before I had the courage to come out to family and friends.

Also, I'm a gamer chick. I still enjoy playing video games even though I'm transitioning to female. I favorite type of games are Role Playing Games(RPG's.) Going quest hunting is my favorite thing to do in those games. I also like first person shooter but only with good friends to play with. Otherwise I just get bored. The games I'm playing now are World of Warcraft {Yes I'm a WOW Junkie} and a DS game called DragonQuest IX Sentinels of the Starry Skies.

Now for a few things that haven't change about me. I still have a love for Star Trek. The Philosophy behind Star Trek that everyone; no matter the color, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or even alien species are all equal in this universe and our goal as Sentient Beings is to better ourselves by always having an open mind about everything around us and also learning from it. I still love to do lego models but now I do them digitally on my laptop.

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