Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Past Comes to Life

Like what the title says, "Past Comes to Life." I've been off of my hormones for working on 3 months now. I truly now know the difference between masculine and feminine for me. For the 8 months I was on Hormone Replacement Therapy( HRT), I was very open, happy, outgoing, and basically couldn't hold still. I actually wanted to do things instead of doing things because of what others wanted me to do.

With my masculine self reemerging, I'm finding myself falling for old habits that never did me any good. I'm sitting at my computer to watch shows a lot more often than not, falling asleep at weird times, and just feeling dull and depressed. I want to go out as myself but with what comes with being a heavy testosterone person, my facial hair as once again began to grow darker and become apparent in everyday life. Instead of being on my mind every 3 or 4 days. Also, I'm losing the hair on top of my head at a faster rate once again. It slowed to a crawl when I was on HRT. Once again, my anxiety is back to how it was before HRT. Work once again triggers my anxiety.

To help my cope with this I'm back in to therapy for just anxiety and depression. With the help of my therapist, I'm going to learn coping skills so that I won't loose my mind and go to something very very stupid.

If everything works out, I will be back on my hormones sometime after the 21st of July. I will try to post an update sometime soon after I get back on them.  


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